i'll always remember

You should come see The Vagina Monolgues by Eve Ensler presented by the UCF Women's Studies Program and Jenn Miller and Danielle Halpern.

It's going to be February 24th and 25th, (This Friday and Saturday) and then March 4th (Next Saturday)

All at 7 pm.

Tickets are 8 bucks at the door or $6 if you buy them presale. They're being sold by the free speech line near student union on the UCF main campus. You can also buy them from anyone who is involved in the production.

Come out and support ending the violence against women!

We love you all...but more if you come.

cast list in order of performance:

Stefanie Liebowitz
Linda Rodriguez
Toni Williams
Lauren Jennings
Molly Peuler
Liza Wolf
Chelsea Wilson
Jenn Becher
Carol Palumbo
Marci Porter
Cali Fleming
Jen Whalen
Eveleena Fults
Kristin Aello

I HAVE A NEW LJ!!!

i thought it was time for a fresh start for the new year...

****************************************************************

just_precious

****************************************************************

my sister shannon:




has a new lj cause her old one got deleted


mad_hattress108



mad_hattress108



mad_hattress108


adddd it

i just snatched up the only open spot in my beloved ms. burda's french II class, at a much better time..1:30-2:50 instead of what i originally signed up for: a 7pm class without the best professor ever.

if i can't get into scopes and methods this semester i may sign up for the class on buddism i've been eyeing. is a possible decision to minor in religious studies in the works? hmm. it would go right along with women's studies...most religions=oppressive patriarchies, right?

i think after this christmas, i'm the only person left who doesn't have an ipod or a digital camera. someday...

until then i am really enjoying my prehistoric non-gadgety life (ok actually i've been playing w/ the family camera, perfecting the art of the standard bathroom shot...as shown). christmas was really low-key in a good way, i've gotten to see much more of shelley, and a little of the cj-justin-tyler-rob group, AND jason got back from maryland yesterday (bearing presents from H&M!! when did i start getting so spoiled?).

night before last shelley and i went to ray scroggins' brother's house (eric was there too) and i can't even convey what a nice time i had. i've never been into the whole "country" life but ray's brother, who is 26 and has 2 little babies (yes, and a wife), was the epitomy of what i guess girl's are talking about when they say they like southern guys. he wasn't macho, or a biggot, or any other kind of ignorant, or a hick. he was just so simple and nice and funny and real. and we just sat around the bonfire and they made me laugh so much. it was really refreshing.

makes me want to reevaluate a lot of things...

sometimes i wonder if--despite the fact that my head is always full of so many thoughts that i am constantly arguing w/ myself trying to figure things out--maybe what i am ultimately striving for is really just pure and good simplicity.

i like being home.

last night i finally got to eat at the loop with shelley...i had missed both of them (the restaurant and my best friend) terribly. i had been needing the loop's cajun chicken sandwich, fries, and tomato bisque badly. and i got to see rod.

then we hung out with eric and john marcy at john's cousin's house and played drinking games with wine. what is it with everyone always drinking wine these days? i mean i do it too, ive just noticed it a lot in the past year or so more than ever before. it was really good to see all of them again.

i also talked to cj for a while on the phone, which is always nice, and he and i definitely want to take brittany proulx up on her idea to get the entire (former)group together again one night this week for old time's sake. he said he also doesn't talk to tyler, rob, or even justin that much anymore, which was suprising. weird how things change. i can't wait to see everyone again. when i went to his and justin's old apt in gville over the summer i had suuuch a good time, we talked through the whole night and didn't go to bed until like 8 in the morning.

i've actually kind of liked being HOME, as in at my house, too. a rare occurance. guess i'm home for a short enough time that the family is still being semi-nice/polite/whatever the word is. hopefully i'm not speaking too soon. my mom and i were just having a conversation about how so many men are really just needy little momma's boys and about her being "a feminist bitch"--a term she said only SHE is allowed to desribe herself as. i thought it was funny.

new years: what's going on? if there's not much here i may go back to orlando, but i think i'm going to want to stay and be here w/ jason so..i guess i take it back. i'll be here. i wish he would hurry up and get back from maryland!

i can't believe it! when i checked my grades the monday after finals they were posted as 3 B's and an A, which was kind of disappointing but also understandable...i felt like i had done poorly on my final exams. well, by chance i looked again today and now it says i got 3 A's and a B-- that was in statistics, obviously--and that i am on the dean's list (although i don't really know what dean's list means)! i want to make sure it's not going to change again, but i was WONDERING how i messed up in classes i had done so well in all semester. i am so relieved, especially about my vietnam war class. i can handle B's in some classes, and even occasional C's if it's science or math, but in political science i feel like i should really excel.

on another happy note, i got in town last night, and shelley gets in today! and i've been spending lots of time reading. i took a break from "transforming a rape culture" (it's a very depressing subject to be constantly focusing on) and started reading "are men necessary?" which is really funny and written by maureen dowd, a pulitzer-prize winning columnist for the new york times. she has had such an interesting and exciting life (she writes about things like having a catfight with monica lewinsky lol) that it gets my adrenaline pumping everytime i pick it up. and it is still very intertwined with everything else i've been reading, from "transforming a rape culture" to "the second sex." i want to read a LOT more and then start organizing my thoughts on women's issues. of course i have my first women's studies class this spring, which should definitely compliment everything i've been thinking lately, and i'm hoping to get to know the professor well--i've heard good things about her--so that i can maybe do an honors-in-the-major with her.

i also grabbed the only open spot in a french II class today (yay), which is at an annoying time, about 5-7 pm T/TH, but at least if i don't get an override into a better time slot, i have a class at all.

to add to the happy news, i got a belated birthday present from my uncle yesterday--a $50 gift certificate to my beloved target. this means i can buy lots of polaroid film without feeling like i'm wasting my own money. yess.

bad news: my computer crashed. there goes a ton of music and pictures.

good news: i don't care! i've been having so much fun. last week i went to lunch w/ the old tivoli kids (will i always call them that?) and keith came over that night. lots of talking ensued, as always. what would i do without keith to reflect with? his friend leslee told him that he and i have lots of energy. its funny, but shes the second person to say that! so it must be true.

then i spent thursday downtown with my beloved former history professor, brian. he rocks my world. everytime i talk to him i come away feeling lighter, and finally getting to spend some time with him was even better. he's just so not worried about anything materialistic, and has traveled around the world like, 5 times. i'm talking year long trips that include places like vietnam, cambodia, egypt, jordan, samal (sp?), all over europe and all over south america. hitchiking, no planning, no time limits, just going. he said one time he was tired from so much traveling so he decided to stop and spend 2 months on the beach in thiland, just reading and relaxing. he's in costa rica right now. i should be getting a postcard any day. he is just the nicest nicest person, SO laid back. makes me feel a little more at ease, too. we met up at a starbucks downtown and caught up for a while there, then went over by the lake thats in the middle of everything, then walked to the globe for dinner (and goood live music, 90's style) and then stopped by his freaking amazing apartment which is the most...internationally inspired place i've ever been. filled with pictures, paintings, and books from around the world. someday, toni. sooomeeday.

THEN jason came. we had such a great weekend. great great great. he brought me the best christmas presents ever, this beautiful shirt and jacket from ANTHROPOLOGIE. i have never been able to afford ANY clothes from there. and he picked out such beautiful stuff. good taste, that boy. friday we went out to macaroni grill and then rented a bunch of foreign films. but ended up not watching them or doing anything besides enjoying each other. saturday we watched this audrey tautou film, "god is great (but i am not)" or something, and we loved it. i dont think we even ventured out of the house. it was too cold and rainy! and we had the apt to ourselves! it was so relaxing. i read some more of my "transforming a rape culture" book which is everything i wanted it to be. that night we surrounded ourselves with pizza and wings and wine and candles and watched this crazy japanese movie called suicide club. it was cool, but could have been cooler (had they even bothered tying together the storyline). we spent lots of today in bed. what am i talking about, we spent most of the weekend in bed. and then we went to the mall where i bought him some stuff at express for men and also this chocolate body painting kit that i thought was funny (and fun-looking) to be utilized at a later date. what he REALLY wanted for christmas was for me to get myself some black lingerie, including some thigh-highs and garter belt, and really, who am i to complain. the mall was so crazy though, and a lot of good stuff in good sizes was gone. the next time i see him, after christmas, i should be ready for some chocolate body writing lol. am i saying things on here i shouldnt say? whatever, i freaking love him. i dont think i have ever had so much fun with a person, or been so comfortable. considering its been like 4 years, we better be! i can't believe i first had my massive crush on him (and INTERNET love affair with him) when i was 16 years old! and now i'm an old woman. 20. weeeird. oh yes, and in between christmas shopping for him, i bought myself both the older fiona apple cds THANK GOD. i have only been complaining about how badly i've wanted them for like, 5 years. i couldn't hold out anymore.

i'm going back to orange park on thursday, so i have a few more days to relax, read, get a job (i think i miight be able to make it happen) and prepare the apt for...TWO NEW ROOMATES! me and chels are getting some new girls! jessica and amanda? i need their full names so i can look them up on myspace/facebook lol. shh. i hope theyre cool!

for new years jason may have a party, but we'll see if anyone else is doing something big. what we really want is a party where people HAVE TO DRESS UP. i want a real new years eve like in big cities! i want to wear cute stuff that i don't normally get to wear! we'll seeee...

Chelsea and I just watched Aladdin...

THOSE MOVIES ARE SO BLATANTLY SEXIST

I can't believe I used to watch that stuff when I was a little girl. All I know is my children will not. Jasmine is so pathetic! She has to find a husband in three days, she doesn't take part in any of the real action because Jafar has her all decked out like a sex-slave, although she does get knocked to the ground twice. Her lines suck, she's half dressed, she falls in love with Aladdin in like, a day, and when she decides she "loves" him her father is willing to change the law by allowing her to marry a commoner, although the thought of just letting her NOT marry yet at all is out of the question because she needs to be taken care of. And Chels even caught a line I'd never heard before when Jafar walks up to her and says "Speechless? Good, just the way a wife should be." I mean, yeah, Jafar is a bad guy but STILL. And the only time Jasmine ever uses her brain is when she's practically SEDUCING Jafar! These princess movies say all that matters is being pretty and finding a husband (whom you barely know). And then you live happily ever after? That's it? That's all there is to life? Finding a husband? It's so pathetic. I feel like I was tainted by growing up watching Disney movies! Most fairy-tales are just as bad. I'm just now beginning to undo--or at least recognize--all the psychological damage crap like that probably did to me. I do remember my mom complaining about some of them; the fact that Ariel was only 16 years old, and Pocahantas was barely dressed and her boobs were about to pop out the whole time. I even recently heard a guy talking about how Ariel was the hottest BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T TALK. Seriously seriously seriously, the only time my children will watch those movies is when we are watching them as a learning experience, ANALYZING how sexist they are. And damn, I used to love Aladin. I want to watch Beauty and the Beast again and see how I feel about that; it's probably my favorite. At least Belle likes to read for crying out loud. Princesses like Cinderella or Snow White, don't even get me started on. They're good house-cleaners and they're pretty.

uh-oh, just checked my grades. definitely got more B's than A's this semester. bleh. at least i have enough hours that this semester didn't bring down my gpa too much, i still have a little over a 3.7. now that i am done w/ my gen eds i have no excuse to not be a pretty consistent A student.

next semester i have urban politics, environmental politics, and intro to women's studies. only my laziness can mess those up. but i think now that my schedule is one i am a lot more interested in, it should be easier to stay motivated. i also have to get overrides to get into scopes and methods (yuck, there's no way i'm getting an A in that) and also french II, which should be fine. i am a little nervous taking 16 credit hours (french=4) instead of my usual 12. but hopefully something like, say, women's studies, will be so NOT hard that i'm still only worrying about four classes.

ahhhhhh i'm so pissed that i did so terribly on my exams, THATS why i got bumped down to B's in two of my classes. but it has been one loooong week, and now that it's over, i really don't have the motivation to stay too concerned about it.

i keep thinking i need a really high gpa to get into law school, which isn't out of the question, and i'm sure i can still get it up pretty high since i'm only halfway through, but on the other hand, i need to not rule out going on to get some kind of masters degree. in what? i'm not sure. public policy? i can't remember if i already said on here that i am sticking w/ my poli-sci pre-law domestic track major, and then probably minoring in philosophy and a certificate in women's studies. so if i go on to any sort of graduate school to further my education about something with feminist undertones, i will be happy.

i'm already glad that i'm beginning to be be able to narrow down what exactly i want to focus on. women's issues seem to get my adrenaline pumping the most, and i can't think of anything better than dedicating myself to the subject that i am most passionate about.

for my birthday, on wednesday, kieth suprised me with a dinner reservation at the melting pot, this freaking awesome fondu restaurant. it was soooooooooo good and soooooo fun. the food was the best i've had...that i can remember ever having. fruit and bread and cheese, sirloin steak and chicken, strawberrys and cheesecake and chocolate, and amazing wine. it was like a 2 1/2 hour meal. and his friend was our waiter and he was so fun. the whole night was so great.

friday night my sister and her boyfriend came, as did lots of other friends. we had even more wine, but this time it was cheap and we drank it out of mason jars. me, chels, shannon, eric, kieth, lesley, carlo, dan, ryan and some random neighbor girl came over. we planned to pre-party there and then head out to one of the bigger out-of-school parties but we ended up having so much fun that we just stayed at my place. i love how it really feels like home here. i got some really sweet gifts, including the book "are men necessary?" from carlo and some 1950's gloves from my sister and a french clock from chelsea. cool stuff.

saturday i went to jacksonville to jason's new AMAZING HUGE house. i love it so much. we went out to dinner at my favorite italian restaurant maggiano's, and then spent a few hours in the bookstore i love, where he told me to pick out a book. i got "transforming a rape culture" lol. i pumped about having all of christmas break to do soooo much reading. after i finish some of these, i definitely want to read simone de beauvoir's second sex in its entirety, as well as some books on the next feminist generation that i was looking at. i also want to use this time to really look back over my french and focus on what i kinda skipped over during the semester, and maybe start looking ahead. oh yes, and then i went back to jasons for a very romantic evening that included a massage and bubble bath and candle light. is there really anything better?

chelsea and i painted some..paintings. how else do you say that? made some paintings? painted some pictures? they arent really "pictures"...
anyway, we added to the growing collection on our wall, and today at a garage sale on jason's street, i bought another painting from the artist herself. it's very exciting watching our wall become less and less glaringly white. tomorrow my dad is bringing us a tallll white bookshelf to put in the living room, too. hooray.

i saw chronicles of narnia on thursday. the biblical imagery was more blatant than i remembered from the book, but i liked it. the fawn..isn't that the goat man?...was really freaking sexy for being half goat. he and little lucy seemed more in love than anything. as of thursday night, i don't think i have a problem with beastiality anymore, and who can put an age restriction on love?

anyway, i made my room clean and beautiful, we have candles lit and incense burning and it's christmas break and i am happy. and i need a shower.

my birthday is today but it pretty much started days ago. i couldn't have asked for more.

i am the biggest slacker there ever was

and right now, i really don't care

i'm really excited about this weekend

and even more excited about the next one

my last final is friday the 9th, tish's birthday

and MY birthday is the 10th, the first day of christmas break

no more j'ai dix-neuf ans

but vignt

that means double birthday partying friday night

everyone is invited! but i will have to get back to you about actual plans

we may get to have a party at the isentninjas band house if belcher lets us

but he could be a tough sell

we'll figure something out

and then saturday to jason's new house; we're going on a date, and oh how i do love dates

and i get to stay w/ him the rest of the weekend

as long as i want, really

the best gift ever

then i have to use any birthday money to buy people [cheap] christmas presents!

i have some good ideas for jason, but they are secrets because sometimes he reads this

luckily i have a month off of school to look for a jobbbb

i told my mom all i want for christmas is old books, preferably with inscriptions on the inside cover

[and money to put away for rent...so i can not get evicted when it turns into june and july]

i should not be talking about christmas because it is only le premiere decembre, mais je suis tres impatiente

i had the first half of my french final today, the written portion

i think i did...pas mal.

my thanksgiving weekend: (it was kind of morbid)

thanksgiving dinner was at home, and aside from my immediate family, jason was there <3, and so was my favorite uncle from l.a. oh, and my grandfather cavanaugh's ashes spent the weekend with us as well.

friday we drove to atlanta. we went to the famous historic cemetary there where my great great great grandfather is listed as a famous person buried there. apparently he was a sort of founding-father of atlanta. turns out the murphy's (that's us) have this HUGE area right in the middle, next to margarette mitchell, who wrote gone with the wind. i'm talking...it said murphy on the steps leading up to it, there was a huge murphy column in the center, and then little murphy markers all around. (anthony murphy was even in some book they were selling at the gift shop!) since we wanted to sprinkle my grandfather's ashes, we may just get him a memorial stone there, or...as the family joked about all weekend...sell the remaining 4 empty plots for like, $20,000 a piece. we suck.

i've decided when i get married, instead of taking my husband's name, i'm going to take murphy, my mother's maiden name, and the name of all my relatives who came over from ireland in the 1800's. i have always thought it's pretty sexist that family names may only be passed down through men, and murphy is a name i take a lot of pride in. i love that side of the family. everyone is so smart, so funny, and so weird. and we actually have history. (there are a lot of beautiful people on that side of the family too.)

saturday, we drove up north and met to have lunch with my infamous uncle tony, the hermit of the family, who would rather spend time in the mountains than with people. no one had spoken to him in years. when we all met up, it was really awkward. it was also funny. my uncle's are tall...6'4 and 6'6.and they're skinny. they make my 5'10 mom look petite. that doesn't really have to do with anything, but they are just so tall i have to point it out. we had an interesting lunch, everyone in the family has a very dark sense of humor, so at times when it seemed to be getting bad, they were just being extermely sarcastic. it's a murphy thing.

after lunch, we said goodbye to tony and his earthy forest-dwelling girlfriend and drove even further to this little "swiss" town called helen. from there we went into the mountains to anna ruby (water)falls, which is so beautiful, and is where my mom and her brothers had some of their best childhood memories. there were a lot of tourists so we found a secluded spot to sprinkle my grandfather's ashes. my uncle kevin spoke, and everything he said touched me so much. my grandfather was the epitomy of a gentleman. he taught not by saying, but by doing. living in the south in the 1960's, they never once heard him say a single thing that would have expressed any sense of racism or discriminiation. the idea that some people are better than others didn't even occur to him. he never once spoke badly about my grandmother, his alcoholic ex-wife, who gave him plenty of things to speak badly about. he never complained about raising 3 children alone, despite the fact that NO men did that in those days. he took the kids to see movies like harold and maude and easy rider, as well as old charlie chaplin movies. he took them to live in scotland for a year. he was an intellectual, a sharp dresser, and a kind person. my uncle kevin said he passed on his sense of humanity to my mother, the feminist, a sense of creativity to kevin, the v.p. of a huge advertising company in california, and his awe and respect for the earth to tony, the nature lover.

i only met my grandfather for the first time in january, due to a lot of other bizarre twists in my family story. anyway, he was absolutely amazing. he had this apartment in an old victorian home in savannah, and everything was covered in collage. pictures of old civil rights leaders, friends and letters and lovers from long ago, and yes, black pornography covered the walls. (he had a thing for black women in his old age.) it was really funny. he was soo smart. he had this voice, almost british sounding it was so formal, and he was one of the funniest, smartest, most interesting people i've ever met. my uncle said, despite any of his flaws, and there were many, my grandfather made an impression of being a DISTINCT personality on everyone he met in his life. the more i think about it, the more impressed i am...how many people i know are really their own, individual person? these days, it doesn't seem like many...

i feel like i've been reminded of what i want to aspire to.

i don't think of myself as particularly attached the notion of family, but maybe i've been wrong. it's a good feeling to have roots.


(and some pictures i took in january):

I Own Not A Notion
I Escape And Ape Content
I Don't Own Emotion - I Rent
What Was It About That Night
Connection-In An Isolating Age
For Once-The Shadows Gave Way To
Light
For Once I Didn't Disengage



i saw rent last night at midnight at citywalk
i miss my people, the weird theatrical ones
they were all there
in a line that went forever
i used to be one of them
and i used to want to grow up and be them
(secretly i still kind of do)
i can't talk about rent right now until some other people have seen it
i'm really annoying about it when i do start in on it
but i will say,
i'm going again tonight
at home

home

harry potter was not very satisfying

the new wal-mart documentary, on the other hand, was amazing. sickening. awakening.
find a way to watch it.

i don't know where my phone is. i think i left it at the enzian. oh yes, the squid and the whale was pretty good. i have so much school work to do this weekend it's depressing. i have to learn so much before my stats test monday, i have to learn soo much for french before tuesday, and i have to figure out a topic and write a 10 page international relations paper for vietnam war, which is due after thanksgiving. and there's no time to do it over the break.

i am going to ga friday after thanksgiving. it's for my grandfather's funeral. it's going to be a fabulously disfunctional family function. the kids i used to babysit that were killed in a car accident earlier this school year finally have their memorial service this weekend. i guess their mom is out of the hospital now. i hate that i couldn't go home this weekend for it.

i am disgusted that i slept until almost 1:00 today. what a waste. i don't know if i am even going to feel like doing anything tonight, considering how much i need to do that i haven't even started on.

blah. blah is how i'm feeling.

this week has been filled with...purpose-driven fun, i guess.

i already said i went to the progressive thanksgiving sunday.

last night i had aclu and checked out free the planet, which was pretty cool. i really want to get a bike. and maybe go all the way vegetarian, can't decide. and now that i'm learning how to drive, i can begin to dream of hybrids.

today i was convinced to skip class and join in the huge "2000 too many" protest. it was kind of a march, with people lined up to carry 1000 feet of string with pictures of every soldier who has died in iraq so far hanging from it. the line of us was so long, and we walked it allll over school and even completely surrounded the main circle in the middle of campus. it was cool. i saw tyler tracze for the first time in forever while i was protesting, which is ironic since he is convinced i am a crazy hippie now.

i'm not. i've still never smoked pot and i don't have free love.

but i did get my progressive council shirt today, it's really cool.

then tonight i went to a hunger banquet, where 15% of the people were randomly selected to represent the wealthy, and they got to sit at tables and have rice, beans, chicken, chocolate cake, and iced tea. another small group of people were selected to be the middle class, who got to sit in chairs (no table) and have rice, beans, and a drink. the rest of us were the impoverished. we had to sit on the floor and we were only fed rice and water. there was trash and cardboard boxes everywhere on the floor. me and 2 other girls decided to be beggars at the rich people tables but we were almost "arrested" for violating ordinances. it was pretty fun. i would like to volunteer w/ the program that sponsered it. i definitely believe in the redistribution of wealth...of food.

THEN...oh man, the best for last

DIVA INVASION
the best drag show ever
it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun
it's the biggest (only?) event put on by GLBT for the year, at the arena, and it rocked. and i saw naked bodies of men that looked better than any woman. and danced better. n a k e d. i couldnt believe this was a school sponsered event. omg and at the end this one diva did the most amazing dance w/ 3 male s&m looking dancers, and then they pulled up this realllly preppy pink-shirt-popped-collar kid and started stripping him, and saying they wanted to see his penis and all this wonderfully school inappropriate stuff. i went w/ francis, evan, and jennifer and we met up w/ mitch and troy. i know me and francis loved every freaking minute. afterwords we were given cherry flavored lube among other things. we're going to a gay club this weekend to see our favorites perform more. i'll try to take pictures.

then we went to natura. always a good time.

tomorrow im going to see squid at the enzian which i have been dying to see forever, and then friday im going to see harry potter! yess. and then next week is thanksgiving break which i need BAD and even more importantly, RENT comes out. so dumb classes may be annoying me right now, but at least a lot of other stuff is going well. not too mention jason is probably getting a house w/in the month! im so stoked.

anyway, things are good and i need sleep. thursday suck, way too much class, but im meeting up with keith for some reflecting by the pond, so at least i have something to look forward to. have to take advantage of this unbelieveable weather we're been having.

so i found all these pictures from like, junior year, when i was always changing my hair





and...at the moment i'm kind of missing the blonde? i need something new.

ahh it's been an interesting day.

that consisted of not doing the paper i have due tomorrow that i should have begun long ago.

it's hard finding solutions to certain situations...situations for which no real solution exists i guess?

i was reading through old journals today (the real live handwritten kind) and...idk. probably anyone knows what that's like. some of it makes me smile, some of it makes me sad, and some of it is just embarrasingly ridiculous. seriously. when i was younger i wanted to be anne frank. i love brand new, intimidating, blank, promising notebooks. i always have. so i was always getting new ones before i filled the last one up. i think i'll have a library of half-filled journals someday. anyway, annoyingly, i always addressed my journals by name (it was just so COOL that anne called hers 'kitty')--AND i felt the need to introduce myself at the beginning of every single freaking diary. in the chance that someday, the nazis come and get me, i die tragically, and my words are discovered and published and read by millions, there has to be a decent introduction with a lot of background information to set things up. however, this can be incredibly boring to write, so normally, i would get a diary, feeling inspired to write something emotional, and then get stuck doing the necessary intro, thus, killing my creative buzz, and rarely getting anywhere.

i was also a meticulous list-maker. i have one notebook devoted entirely to new years resolutions, birthday/christmas wishes, summer plans (goals), boys i'd kissed (didn't we all used to keep these?) etc. for instance, some of my summer 1999 plans:
-get lots of yellow, pink, and light blue clothes
-decorate back-to-school notebooks
-listen to more christian music
-go to every lee's summit pool party

wtf? yellow pink and light blue?

or how about my perfect boyfriend list:
-christian (oh the days of junior high youthgroup)
-hott (with two t's)
-has fun but doesn't do drugs, etc
-can breakdance (BREAKDANCE)
-preppy
-gets along with my friends, but doesn't flirt

i would say the only thing on that list that's still relevent is...breakdancing. definitely a must.

i want to go to gainesville!

oooh and the last episode of laguna was tonight and i was seriously freaked out when lc started going on about how crazy it is that everyone had changed but the people who had been friends for years could get back together and everything was still the same too. i swear i posted my last entry BEFORE i saw laguna beach tonight. god im going to miss kristin. oh well, shes doing a movie.

i need to sleep so i can wake up early and write this stupid paper. its one of those annoying "pretend youre a reporter from south carolina during the nullification crisis....." pretend like i'm in elementary school. i hate gen-ed classes.